Leaders need to show sincerity and authenticity in what they think and do to earn the trust and respect of the people who choose to follow them… but this authenticity has limits. That sounds like a contradiction, and to leaders, it will feel like a contradiction to temper how they respond to situations. However, a careful, measured response always sends what is really the true message to those following the leader.
The reason for this is perspective. Most leaders don’t understand how greatly their actions are amplified by their role as leader. As it is, followers pick up on subtle, even subconscious clues from their leader (which is why authenticity is so important.) To use an aural metaphor, when followers are listening for even the softest sounds, a normal voice sounds as loud as a scream. For this reason, a leader who feels irritated will be perceived as being angry, and a leader who feels angry will be perceived as ranting hysterically.
There’s an easy fix to this situation: scare away all your followers!
The more realistic and responsible solution is for the leader to consider both his emotions and the emotions of his followers at the same time. The leader is not responding only for themselves but for the team as well. This is consistent with the leader’s responsibility to think and act in the best interests of the team, the followers, and the goal.
It’s much easier to write about tempering emotions than to practice tempering emotions, so most of us need some sort of “trick” to help us catch ourselves. My trick is to keep a cup of coffee with me so I can take a sip (and give myself a second to think) before I answer back to an upsetting comment or situation. (I know you medical professionals are cringing that I would feed a stressful situation with caffeine.) Lynn Small, one of the leaders I admire the most, taught himself to laugh at stressful situations. As strange as that sounds, it worked for him and for those of us following him. You might want to come up with your own trick — something that interrupts your outburst before it starts, giving you just that instant to think of how this situation and your response affects the teams. Then when you respond, it will be the “real” you, not the emotionally provoked you, that the team sees.